It all began when I met this man.

My First Transformational Experience

I was about 12 years old at the time. I was travelling with my parents through the Rosebud Indian Reservation. My dad wanted to stop and see the Tee Pees and cabin that were set up there.

I remember very clearly that I resonated with the place. My dad was taking photos and filming the place and I don’t know how this happened, but this man with the headdress offered to pose with me for a photo.

I am not sure why he did this, but I will never forget when he put that headdress on me. I went from being happy being with this man to ecstatic. I also felt something I cannot explain, perhaps the closest words would be vitality energy. I remember when he went to adjust my jacket for the still photo. His hand felt like a mountain of strength. I felt so much love from this man that I felt like he was my grandfather.

My dad filmed the whole thing and it would be a long time before I would ever see the photo’s or film again. I very clearly remember how I felt during and after this encounter. Ordinarily I shied away from cameras, my dad filmed me many time running from the camera. This time was quite different. I have never seen an ear to ear grin on my face in front of a camera. I went from being a shy and bored kid who was stuck with his parents in a car to an being an outgoing, energetic, and creative lightning child. To say that I felt lit up like a Christmas tree angel would not be an exaggeration. The vacation shots that my dad filmed clearly show the transformation.

It took about four days for this energy to wear off and for the next 8 years I lived a pretty sheltered and somewhat normal life.

My Death/Rebirth Experience

In a nutshell, my pre-adult years were for the most part peaceful, quiet and uneventful.

During the summer of 1977 all of this changed.

One day an energy of change came into my life that was extremely potent. I decided that I was going to ride my bicycle to Denver Colorado and visit my cousin. I packed my essentials, left my parents a note and off I went.

I rode for two days straight and slept only an hour or two at a time. It was during the time that I spent on the road that my consciousness began to shift. I began to feel an invigorating energy that I will call the energy of freedom. It was this energy, this feeling deep inside that motivated me to just ditch the bike and start hitchhiking.

I spent two weeks with my cousin in Denver. During that time I made new friends and for the first time in my life I felt like I was getting to know who I really was. I enjoyed Denver and everyone who I met there immensely. I wanted to stay and find a job and start a new life there, but my parents started pulling strings in order to get me back home.

One day my mom called me and said that my aunt and uncle could not continue to support me for much longer. I told her that I was planning on getting a job and finding my own place. She tried to convince me that coming home would be better for me. She said that she would even loan me money to buy a car so that I could drive instead of riding my bicycle everywhere. I could not refuse this offer and two days later I was on a plane to go back home.

Things started getting very strange when I got home. My energy level had been on the increase since the day I left for Denver and it began to accelerate exponentially. I felt so strong, so alive and so full of energy that I rarely slept more than an hour or so at a time. At one point I went about two weeks on about 2 hours of sleep.

This energy combined with the lack of adequate sleep caused my consciousness to shift deeper and deeper into a place that I had never known about. I was seeing the world in a much different way. I “saw” that much of what I had been told about the world was not exactly true. I saw perfection in everything. One day I tried to disturb this perfection by tearing up paper making a big mess in the garage. When I was done, I looked and realized that I had successfully created a perfect mess!

One night my consciousness began to shift rapidly and deeply. I was watching TV with my cousin. I was looking at the man on the screen and I had the weirdest sensation that I was him! I could sense the environment that he was in as if I was really there. I watched in amazement as his eyes began to shine with a light that I could feel. When he looked toward the camera, the light of his eyes connected with my own eyes. This was too much for me! I stood up and left without saying a single word.

I did not know it at the time, but I was slipping away into the sprit world. This world (or way of perceiving it) did not match with the “ordinary” anymore. The more that I saw and felt, the more that I got drawn into it. Slowly but surely, I was losing touch with ordinary reality.

One night I was trying to sleep but could not, so I turned on the TV. I was so sleep deprived and in such a non-ordinary state, that the words they were speaking seemed to have meaning beyond what they were actually saying. I had to turn it off because I found this to be too stimulating. So I just laid there and looked out the window. I was watching a car go by and I noticed that I could clearly see all the tiny pebbles in the asphalt. This was from about 60 feet away! I was seeing everything with a clarity that I had never seen before. This to was stimulating; everything was stimulating, and it is no wonder why I could hardly ever sleep!

I gave up trying to rest and left the house for a midnight bike ride. I don’t know why, but I rode to my grandma’s apartment complex. When I got there I followed a car into the underground garage. The garage door closed behind me. I parked my bike and went toward the building entrance door. I used to be able to get in through this door because the lock was faulty. Unfortunately, the lock had been repaired so I could not enter the complex. I went back to the garage door and stepped on the hose that normally triggers the door to open, but it did not work! I was locked in the garage @ 1:00 in the mourning. I waited for about 45 minutes for someone to open a door but no one did. I could not think of any other way out except to break a window. I grabbed a large brick and smashed it through. The next problem that I found myself with was bare feet. My only way out was covered with broken glass.

To this day I don’t know how I managed to get out of there bare footed without getting cut by all the glass on the ground. I stood there for a while feeling as if I was somehow frozen in time. I watched a police car pull in and two officers get out. They walked up the stairs and met with the manager. I was amazed that they did not see me! I stood there and listened to them talk when suddenly without a single thought or reason behind my action, I started walking up toward them. They were looking at me in a strange way and said “ what have you been doing?" I said, “I don’t know.” This was truly an honest answer, I did not know what I was doing and I certainly did not know what was happening to me. All I knew was that I was not seeing the world as I once did. It felt extraordinary, but it prevented me from functioning on a rational level and I am sure that it showed.

Due to my obvious altered state, they probably suspected that I was on drugs, so they brought me to a detox facility. (The only drug that I used back then was some really poor quality ditchweed. ((Yes, I admit, I inhaled!)) But his time I was clean; I had not had any for about a week prior to this experience.)

When I arrived at the detox center I remember sitting at a table talking to a staff person who emitted a very warm and loving feeling. I will call her Mary. I trusted Mary because of this feeling. She was trying to figure out what was up with me. While we were talking, I began to tremble. My body was producing a sensation that was so powerful that it reacted by trembling and shaking. Perhaps she thought that it was a drug-related spasm or something, but this was pure energy, it felt good to me, like pure healing energy.

A short time later she handed me a pill and said it would help control the spasms. I took it only because I trusted her. I knew that she was looking out for me and seemed to understand what I was going through. She even told me “ I understand what you are going through.” To this day I wonder if she really did understand, or if she just thought it was a drug-related ordeal.

She had me lay down in bed. She was so nice to me, like an angel. I asked her if I could use a radio that I had seen and she was kind enough to go get if for me. I turned it on and laid back to rest. She asked me to just lay there and rest a while and she would come in once in a while to check on me.

While I was resting, I was listening to a song that sang to the core of my soul. The words went something like:“ Hang on, help is on it’s way, I’ll be there as fast as I can. Hang on, tiny voices say, somewhere deep inside me is a man”. I had heard this song before, but not at all like I was hearing it then. It spoke directly to me as if God was sitting right there at my bed telling me that everything was going to be ok. I felt so good, I was completely overwhelmed, a very strong feeling of euphoria overcame me and I fell into a deep sleep.

When I woke up the next mourning I felt like I was in heaven. I thought that maybe I had died and this was a place where souls go to be transferred to their next life. It was very strange, I knew nothing about spiritual/metaphysical things and yet I felt that I was in a “soul redistribution center”. Those are the words that came into my head then. (I know how strange this may sound, but this was my experience, word for word)

I looked out the window and saw a New World. Sure, I had seen the cars and the streets and the people before, but somehow, in some strange way this was very new to me. I was feeling things that I had never felt before. I felt connected to everyone, like I had always known all of the strangers who were in the center. Music sounded better, my sight was keen and sharp. All of my senses were enhanced. I did not know what power was at the time, but it was coursing through my veins. For the first time in my life I felt what it was like to be truly alive. I was free from the effects of my social conditioning and the selective perception of the norm. The down side of this was that my behavior was no longer governed by the essential aspects of social conditioning, my behavior was bizarre at times so a decision was made to send me to a hospital for re-domestication and assimilation back to the normal way of perceiving the world.

That day Mary came and told me that they had made arrangements to have me taken to a hospital for evaluation. I think that my extended ecstatic state and unusual behavior had everyone concerned. Unfortunately this is where my nightmare began.

I was taken to a hospital where they diagnose you with whatever fits a medical description and then they proceed as if it is caused by a Thorazine or Haldol deficiency. All I can say is that every drug they gave me failed miserably. The energy inside me was not intended to be supressed especially by mind-numbing drugs, it was there to be nurtured and cultivated and made into something useful. Well they didn't know this, so they succeeded in making me ill with pills until I actually belonged in the hospital!

My re-domestication in the hospital was successful, well at least to them. They reacquainted me with the dream of hell quite well and convinced me that their version of reality and perception was the one and only. This was rather unfortunate because I believe that this experience was designed to open me up and to help me become more than what I was.

In a nutshell, my death experience was a death of an ordinary way of perceiving the world. I died as an average man and temporarily left the world of the ordinary. My re-birth was an initiation into the potential of a new dream. I have not forgotten this dream! It has been ingrained deeply in my heart and my soul. It is a dream of heaven on earth.

Heaven on earth is not a concept, it is an experience, and spiritual disciplines are designed to help get you there. I think it is unfortunate that I was raised in a culture that does not support or nurture the form of consciousness that was initiated by this experience.

To be continued…..

Strange Phenomenon

For whatever reason my life has been filled with strange phenomenon and experiences. One very curious phenomenon was strange formations growing out of my ice cubes. For whatever reason this phenomenon (and many others) began while I was living with my friend Al in Phoenix Arizona. I noticed that my ice cubes were growing stalagmites about 1” high. I asked Al one day if he had ever had this happen in his freezer. AL’s reply was “ not until you started living here.”

When I returned to Minnesota I noticed that the stalagmites were growing larger and larger. Sometimes there were as many as 15 of them per tray.

I have heard some wonderful scientific explanations for this phenomenon, but they do not explain the following facts:

My roommates ice was not growing them even though we used the same water. I have given water directly from my source to friends and had them follow the same procedure I use to make them. On occasion they would get small 1/8th-1/4 inch growths but nothing close to the magnitude of the ones that grew for me.

Some people suggested that maybe it had something to do with my refrigerator, so I brought some water to work and they grew there too. I set my trays outside on my balcony during the winter and they grew like gangbusters out there. I even took my water 225 miles up north and they grew plentiful there as well.

I took many photos and even shot some video footage of these things growing. Science may accurately explain part of this phenomenon but as my personal saying goes:

“There is an ordinary explanation for every non-ordinary event that is invalid and there is a non-ordinary explanation for every ordinary event that is invalid.” ( This subject will be explained further on the Infinity Warriors Blog in the near future. See: http://infinitywarriors.blogspot.com/

I say this because I believe that we often settle for explanations that merely placate the mind and satisfy it's need to know. Unfortunately we often look at a fragment of the truth, explain it, justify it, call it the truth and then build up a wall of resistance around it so that nothing can contradict this “truth.” This is where don Miguel’s advice is so useful: “ Don’t believe me, don’t believe yourself and don’t believe anyone else. The truth survives the skepticism “

Don Juan taught Carlos Castaneda a similar idea " A warrior has to accept without accepting and must believe without believing." Doing so frees the mind from the prison of compartmentalized thinking.

From Stalgmites to Animal Forms

There was a time when my ice cubes started producing animal forms. First was a song bird, then a crane and my personal favorite; a rabbit. I am sure science has an explanation for this and I am sure it would be the truth, a fragment of the truth, and only a fragment of the truth.

Form a mystical perspective, part of the explanation for this phenomenon could be due to all of the shamanic ceremonies that took place regularly in my home. Perhaps this creates an energy field that supports healing and other forms of spiritual manifestations. My experience completely supports this idea. I intend to share as many of these experiences as I can on this blog.

Crane Cube

Where Rabbits & Hats Have Never Been

Many years ago during a shamanic journey I heard this quote spoken to me:

True magic is pulling rabbits out of hats where rabbits have never been, and where hats will never be.

When I saw the " Rabbit Cube" I better understood what this voice was saying to me.

Rabbit Cube

More to Come

One of my former spirit guides favorite sayings was " You ain't seen nothin' yet" holds true here on this blog. I have much more to share, and if you like the strange and unusual, then you are in the right place.

Stay "tuned"

If you have had any similar experiences, I would like to hear from you. Please feel free to contact me @ starwalker221@yahoo.com.

Blessings,
Starwalker

221, 1221, 2012 Phenomenon

I have two blogs dedicated to a number synchronicity phenomenon that I have been experiencing since around 1984. You will find very unique and unusual stories here as well. See: http://1221sun.blogspot.com/
and: http://12212012.blogspot.com/